...lately, is starting to sound more and more like "More often than not..."
With
everything.
And, on top of that, or because of it, it seems that, well, life isn't just hard. It's down right impossible. To stay sane. To keep from running away screaming at the top of my lungs while pulling out my hair and swinging a sledge hammer at anyone, or anything that wanders a bit to close.
I'll be honest: this sucks.
*GASP* "How could you say such a thing?!" Oh get over yourself. It's called life. I challenge you to find some other family that has only had sparkly, smiling rainbows coming out of their posterior. Fact: life IS hard. Although every other blog out there would have you think otherwise, this one, MINE, isn't always gonna be full of sparkly, smiling rainbows.
This is one of those times. We all need to rant once in a while and it's my turn.
The biggest catalyst of all this? The two smallest things in my life right now.
Sure, the kids can be great. They can be a lot of fun and laughs as they dive into pillows or sing "ABC's" or walk in with a handful of poop to put in the potty or push their walker around giggling or... you get the idea. They
can be but they also
can not be. And right now, it seems that, "More often than not..." they aren't.
Instead of focusing on the positives, I'm too busy focusing on the negatives: the whining, the crying, the tantrums, the middle-of-the-night spells, the "NO! MINE!" or "Hooold ju!"s, the "I drop it, you pick it up." games, repeating the same phrase eleventy-seven times, blah blah blah. Over and over and over and over again. WHEN DOES IT STOP?! DOES IT EVER STOP?!?!
Look, I love my kids. I'd die for them. They
do make me laugh and all. But, despite what you think, they are *gasp* not always little angels. I, again, challenge you to find a kid that's full of sparkly, smiling rainbows. I'll even go so far as to say that JC himself wasn't either when he was this old.
Then, if we go out or have people over or whatever, we have to put on our smiley mask, act as if everything's just dandy and pleasantly say the biggest problem we face is Futbol making butt-clouds with the baby powder. And the other people just smile and say crap like "Oh my sweetbabyangelsugarbunsscmoopeypoohoneyface..." Gag me. That act is more phony than Pamela Anderson. Besides, chances are their kid was featured in a lost episode of Mike Rowe's "Dirty Jobs", so what the hell are they smiling at?!
I know how most people look forward to the weekends. I used to always be that way too. Now, it seems "More often than not..." I look forward to Mondays. To go to work to escape the kids. Weird huh?! But then, inevitably, I start feeling guilty for Zippy cause she doesn't get that escape. "More often than not..." I come home and she looks like a patient from Arkham.
Don't tell me "It's hard now, but it'll get better." or "Hang in there, you're doing great." or "Welcome to parenthood!" or
anything. I know all that already but I just don't wanna hear it right now. YOU listen to ME. I just want a place to rant for a second and get this off my chest.
Sometimes I miss our pre-kids life.
*sigh* I need a nap, or a stiff drink... or a bungalow on Mars.
